My Cat Has Balls

My cat, Guinness, has balls. Not the two he was born with (I adopted him from the local Humane Society) but the ping-pong-ball-sized bits of fluff adorned with sparkly metallic threads created for American consumers who have-love-dote upon their cats.

They often come in packages of four. I buy them, hide three in the cupboard above the laundry room sink and toss the fourth for Guinness to chase and return.

Then they disappear. First the one I tossed, then (if he has not already extricated them from the cupboard) the other three.

There are (of course) other toys, so we do without for a while. Then, the next time I buy litter and cat food, I buy another package.

On March 11, I posted a blog recounting such a purchase. [When I returned home, both my cats were at the door but I thought I had managed to sneak the toys in, unobserved. When everything was put away, and when I was sure the both cats were off in another part of the house, I opened the cellophane package, extracted one ball and quickly slipped the package into a kitchen drawer. When Guinness wandered into the kitchen, I threw the extracted ball into the living room and laughed as he scooted after it, sliding slightly on the wood floor. He brought it back. I threw it again, etc. The next morning, I noticed a silver sparkly ball on the upstairs landing. And a red sparkly ball by the front door and a blue sparkly ball on the living room rug and a purple sparkly ball in the dining room. What was going on? I opened my (not so) clever hiding place. There in the corner was the cellophane bag – empty. And there at my feet was Guinness. I swear he was grinning.]

But soon all balls disappeared.

Until I had the loveseat cleaned. When the loveseat was moved, there was a whole trove of balls. I put a cluster of them in a plastic bag that I hid in the laundry room cupboard and placed three around the house for Guinness to find.

He found them. And the cluster in the cupboard.

Within days, all of them had disappeared.

Today, an intensive search was conducted. With an assistant, I looked in every known and suspected hiding place.

We found 20 cat balls.

Where should I hide them this time?