Loosen Up!

Sometimes I dip down --sort of touch depression, stay there 24 hours or so, then pick up.

It happened just the other day. I was down … but out taking an evening walk. A neighbor of mine – in the next block but still a neighbor – spotted me and invited me to get in her car and go with her to listen to a local outdoor concert.

I didn’t.

About half an hour later I realized that was a very stupid decision.

Sure my purse was right by my unlocked front door. Sure it was late, I looked pretty scruffy, and there were things I should be doing … but really … why didn’t I go?

Part of it is the (expletive deleted) Puritan work ethic that was force-fed to me as I was growing up: every activity should be purposeful. Every activity should be in its appropriate time slot.

(EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!)

And the rest of it is that no one ever taught me how to PLAY – how to be spontaneous – how to throw caution (and all of the ‘shoulds’ that surround us) to the winds.

I am actually better at spontaneity and having fun than I used to be . . . but, BOY, do I have a long way to go.

At least I ‘played’ a little this weekend. Did things just for the fun of them. And discovered  (for the upteenth time) that I am energized by other people. That’s progress. And it explains why this particular post is more than 12 hours ‘late.’

Better late (in learning how to play) than never. Go have fun!